Contemplating
I had exactly one friend when I was in high school, and I don't ever recall having anyone else beyond that point. Sure, graduating and getting a job has made me some new connections, but undeniably he was one of the most important to me.
In my last post, I said that he was the one who taught me how to compose. But actually, I was a fan of his music prior to our relationship and he somehow found out. I remembered that he was very quiet in class, but he was always calm and had a smile on, almost eerily so. I didn't even know that the most ordinary looking classmate would actually become one of my biggest inspirations in music.
Until the very end of high school, we stuck together like glue. But he has taught me so much about life, and how some things aren't meant to be forever. Even so, he taught me that loneliness isn't something inescapable, even if I think so.
I'll admit that before and after every night I sleep, I still think of him, if not for the plaguing dreams I get after. I haven't got anyone else to talk about this in my environment, so I figured I'll just blabber on iM anyways, because there's bound to be people reading or not.
Thanks for getting personal, it’s always nice to read about others’ experiences~ I hope all of us can escape loneliness eventually…
That's too sad.. can't imagine how it must have been for you You still have dreams of him after all this time? I miss his music too
@slaughteredvomitdollSyd It's truly a shackling thing, isn't it? Now that it's been like 7-8 something years, I've learnt to make the most in a day, though I feel like a dead fish after (laugh)
@rrreconXENONSAiKOU Sometimes I forget you can be decent as well. I still do, and his music is the only way around it when I think of him. It's nice to see someone that appreciates him
@marlostCAIN Life only gets more tiring as it goes on, doesn’t it? (Realizes you’re 6 years older than me) Oh s**t, what am I in for…
It's difficult to accept the idea that these kinds of things can change. How did you manage it?
@slaughteredvomitdollSyd A lot of things, that's what. But you'll learn how to prepare for it (because in all honesty - don't take my advice) Everyone does it a little differently, after all.
@miracleworkerAdamas I'll admit that in the first few years, I handled it very unhealthily. Because of how it looked like there was no way out of it at first, I felt the most miserable then. But I managed by figuring out how to describe what I truly feel and any ways I could partially solve it, only then I can finally be at peace with myself and open up to new things in life.
@marlostCAIN Thank you for the response.